This Is My Friend, My Care Manager
This Is My Friend, My Care Manager
When Grace found herself ill-at-ease after her husband’s funeral, it was, of course, due to the fact that she would face an uncertain future without her companion of 60 years. The other reason was the fact that she had to say goodbye to her children who had come home for the funeral–one from Texas and one from California. Who would be attentive and understanding enough to be there for her if something went wrong? Or if she just needed a shoulder to lean on. Lord knew her friends and elderly relatives had lives of their own.
Fortunately her son, John, did some research and eventually enlisted the help of a local geriatric care manager to oversee his mother’s needs. The geriatric care manager had assisted in finding the most suitable nursing home for Grace’s husband earlier the previous year. The care manager had helped the family to know what to expect from the nursing home while offering support to Grace who was home alone and fighting off a natural tendency to be clinically depressed.
As John flew home after the funeral, he breathed a sigh of relief that someone nearby would check in with his mother regularly and alert family to any specific concerns. In the months that followed, Grace and her care manager developed a trust and a rapport. The strength of care management is in the ongoing consistency of a good relationship.
After her husband’s funeral, Grace began a difficult struggle– defined by a lack of motivation and perspective that comes when one is bearing a seemingly insurmountable grief. A devoted friend agreed to stay with her for several days following the funeral. One day during the course of the care manager’s visit, Grace had a period of unresponsiveness that landed her in the hospital. A week later she was transferred to another hospital for treatment by her medical specialist. Five weeks later she was transferred to an assisted living program and eventually returned home.
Her care manager was with her every step of the way to coordinate moves and services and to communicate with Grace in a way that she could understand the plans, goals and necessities of each step. The care manager communicated realistically with her family as to how she was progressing so that they could offer support and understanding. The care manager communicated with the doctors, nurses and other professionals to help them understand Grace and, in turn, helped Grace to understand them. To help them determine her personal needs; to help her to follow their orders and direction based on those needs, the care manager supported Grace through her transitions ensuring that her needs, rights and preferences were respected.
Grace has been home nearly 8 months now and with the support of neighbors, friends, family and her care manager she has found ways to stay inspired. She takes one day at a time. She is a survivor. And with the presence of her care manager she has learned a very important lesson. That you can never be too old to make a new friend or to share of yourself. After all, it is often in adversity that we make our dearest friends and learn our dearest lessons.
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